Today has been an interesting day ^.^

Wow. Today has been pretty phenomenal! These last few days have been pretty bad. My aunt has been at her worst. She has cut herself out of our family because of perceived slights. What she thought happened didn't really happen but she has decided that it would be better for her to cut of contact with my parents and not go to any family functions. She's kind of going overboard, but there is no arguing with her. I figure give her a couple of weeks or so and she'll get over it, hopefully. Anyway, yesterday, my uncle and I went to the bank to apply for a loan and the loan guy said that even with our combined everything the debt-ratio was too high. He has a loan and the mortgage that he's cosigned, and while he either doesn't pay anything on it or only pays half, it's pretty much left us looking like we can't pay it. The only way of being able to get the loan would be if my aunt also cosigned. Because of previous happenings this week I was pretty sure I was up a certain creek without a paddle. Today as I was taking my shower, my aunt knocked on the door. I was assuming that she had to use the toilet. She came in and asked if when I had a moment would I come to her room and talk to her. Well I finished up, and was freaking out the entire time. I went in and sat down with her and she apologized to me!!! We had a heart to heart and mended our fences. It was awesome. Well I still didn't want to breech the subject of the loan but she asked me how it was going. I told her I didn't think it was going to happen. We were trying to figure out how to make it or come up with another plan on how to do it. My uncle came up to talk about something else and he broached the subject of her also cosigning because of the other loans that are also in her name. She agreed to do it!!! Never have I been more surprised. I was so positive that she would refuse to do it. I'm so greatful for moments like these. I have been feeling pretty bad these last couple of days. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, or how I was going to get the money. I was sure that if nothing happened I was going to have to pull out of the study abroad program. Now I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to get the loan, especially if my aunt cosigns. We have plans for going in on Monday afternoon to get her on the loan as well. I'm feeling more hopeful and optimistic.


On other news, I need you guys to please keep one of my best friends, Kristina Heitman, in your prayers. She's received some horrible news about her health and a dear friend of hers is in the hospital. I'm not going into details, but if you could just pray for good health, comfort, and peace in these times, I'd be eternally greatful. I know that even when I reach my lowest, that prayer helps. How could positive thinking not help? Thanks everyone. Love you all!!!!

Ah money, how I hate thee!

Sometimes when life throws something awful at you, it can also follow through with something wonderful! Yesterday I was absolutely terrified that my aunt was going to ask my uncle to not co-sign my loan. She was under the impression that I was going to ask for a huge amount. I was thinking about it but I didn't really need that much. Today I found out that I have much less to pay to my study abroad program. I only have about $400 left to pay. I'll be getting more money in May from financial aid. I know what I'm doing but she didn't ask. She has valid concerns and questions, however, the way she put them forth, her tone of voice, scared me to death. This morning we got into another arguement about it. She implied some things that have really hurt me. I'll get over it though. I figured out how much a monthly payment will be, how long it'll take me to pay it off, and what the intrest rate is going to be. I can do this. It may not look like it, but I can do it. Things are starting to level out and become lots better.

Careful with hope, it can get dashed pretty easy...

So, I posted in my last blog about going to Germany for a study abroad. It's been a bit frustrating trying to come up with the money. I know that I'll have the money from summer financial aid, but that money doesn't come in until after I'm supposed to be in Germany. The only other way that I can come up with the rest of the money is to take out a loan. It's not going to be huge, but enough to pay for the rest of the program and the plane ticket, plus some extra for spending money until my financial aid comes in. The only way I can get a loan is if I have a co-signor. I've asked my uncle to be my co-signor. My aunt was a little worried about it understandably. They are still in the adoption process and there are still legal fees. The most that I'll take out is $4000, but I could get away with $3000. I plan on paying it off with the money that I get for fall semester. I have no other choice. I have some ideas for fundraisers and stuff, but I really don't want to have to do them alone. We have a meeting tomorrow and I'll discuss some of my ideas with everybody then. Hopefully they'll be willing to help me, and each other, out. Anyway, today my aunt was on a roll. She kept going on and on about how this could ruin their chances at getting a loan or credit cards to help pay the fees for the adoption. I completely understand that the adoption needs to come first for them. However, it's not as if I'm planning on skipping out on the loan and leaving it to them. Yes, there are risks, I know this. For weeks she's been very supportive about me going. Telling me that we'll figure out a way to get the money, etc. When I first asked them for help with the loan, she was a bit hesitant, but was willing to help. Today it feels as if I've lost the chance to get the money. I don't know who else could help me like this. My parents have gone above and beyond to help me. I don't really have anyone else to do this, and now my hopes have been dashed. I had finally found a cheaper way to get plane tickets. It would cost a couple of hundred dollars less the way I found. Now, I'm not even sure if I'm gonna be able to go.

Why do people do this? Bring you up to pull you down. She was so excited for me, helping me, giving me ideas, praying for me and with me, and now this? I don't know what to do anymore!!! I'm so angry with her. I don't know what happened. It hurts so much, so much.

Life

Oh my I guess it's been a while since I last posted anything. Life has been extremely busy and crazy. School keeps me on my toes. Luckily I only have two classes this semester, German and The Roman Empire. I love them both. I have the wonderful opportunity to go on a study abroad to Berlin, Germany. I can't wait!! It's given me some problems trying to find the funds for it, but I have the most amazing family ever. They are so supportive and helpful. I still don't have all of the money but I'm gonna get it somehow.
I'll try to keep up more often now. It's spring break and I'll have more time to do things.